Thursday, August 21, 2008

And so, here is where it comes to an end. I can't believe I decided that running 14km, mainly up a piss-wreck hill that I thought would never end, was a great way to move from then til now.
But it worked!
I did make it and I have made it - shattered and wrecked and vowing to NEVER, EVER run anywhere again (not even to catch a cab!) There were some parts where Paul had to physically drag me along and other times where I just wanted to sit down and cry - it was too hard and too many parts of me hurt (I've had cancer for gods sake - didn't you know???!!!) There were also times where I was a powerhouse, pushing myself along just so I could get to the end. Running through the finish line was like running from what has been to what is now to come. And it ended just as it all started - with Paul, going through the battle with me and making sure I make it.
The voices have gone from my head that used to remind me of cancer every day. I am no longer an imposter in my own life.
I will always have the reminders of what I went through - from the blue dots tattooed onto my thighs for radiology to the memory of exactly what I went through in order to be well again.
So it's enough of this now. No more.
I am Fiona. I have made it.

No comments: