Sunday, March 16, 2008

The 'C' Word

It hit me last week that I had been diagnosed with cancer.
Gone through surgery for cancer.
Radiology and chemotherapy for cancer.
Offered counselling services and makeover sessions all becasue I had cancer without actually digesting the fact that it was me who all this cancer was happening to.

I had seen Kylie with cancer, friends from home with cancer, the chick from Sass and Bide with cancer (who I secretly wanted to wear my headscarf like when all my hair fell out. Which it didn't. So I just had to put up with sparse eyebrows and my hair being a bit thicker on one side of my head than the other but certainly nowhere near being headscarf appropriate - just my luck!)

Blame it on my current HRT drugs, but this freaks me out!! (the late realisation, not the lack of headscarf action!)

So what made me finally realise?? Someone else's case of foot in mouth - which is so memorable simply because it wasn't me with verbal diahorrea for a change.

The Scene......
I was talking to a person in my office about a certain pain in the ar*e (don't ANYONE EVER ask me who either was - my lips are sealed). The other person was about to describe PIA (Pain In Ar*e) as the office cancer when they stopped, stumbled and used the word cataract instead!!
Internally, I p*ssed myself laughing!

Does that mean that everyone is now scared to use the 'c' word around me, just in case I take it personally??

I chimed in and referred to PIA as the office cancer as that's what they are. And not the glamour, 'on-trend' breast cancer that is the disease du jour (even Sam Newman has jumped on the bandwagon). No no! Office PIA is more like erectile dysfunction with a cancer thrown in for good measure!

I guess my point is to ask you, 2 things for me:

1. don't let on that the City to Surf will just about kill me. I think I know that but just refuse to believe it. I read NOTHING about having babies before I did it. I read NOTHING about cancer treatment before I did it (seeing a trend here??) so figure that flying blind is a very good way for me to go.
and 2. never feel that I am too precious to just say what you want to say. Don't ever censor your thoughts, conversations or opinions around me.
I couldn't bear a homogonised life!


Butty said...


Is that better?

Actually Flossy I would've always felt safe to say that cause I know how tough as nails you are. In only one phone coversation I've had with you of late I didn't feel like I was talking to anyone but the Flossy I lived with in that wonderful Hartland Road so long ago. Do you realise how long ago that was?!

Hows your Easter going anyway? I've just come back from church where I was praying my thankfulness to Jesus for being nailed to a post to save me. Thank you Jesus! What a good fella. Easter means chocolate and 4 days off and thats worth being nailed up for I say. Nail some sense into them!

When is this City to Surf anyway? Winter-time isn't it? What si a stepping stone to? ...

Fiona said...

This is a stepping stone to me giving myself permission to live beyond this - that's all! It's a part of my self-administered therapy to prove that I am OK and that I can do it (afterall, NOTHING can be as hard as chemo so I figure this will be a doddle!!)
It's in August which falls just over 12 months since I was originally diagnosed so in a way will be a celebration of 'I won!!'
Church....isn't that a warehouse in Kings Cross where chicks get their hooters out and everyone gets pissed?????